We can easily say that failure won't harm or hinder us but when it actually happens what do we do? When I'm talking about failure I'm talking about something that you set your heart on achieving, have worked really hard for, poured your heart and soul into and fallen short of your goal. You can't go back and do it again you are stuck with the result you didn't want. The thing you most didn't want to happen has happened. Then what?
Dealing with failure and overcoming the fear of failure is something 70x7 Ltd teach on and is Mindset 1 of the Octagonal Mindset. However, since experiencing one of my most disappointing failures on Saturday I have now amended and altered our teaching. I have always empathised the learning and the growth that we achieve through failure. That it is not something to be avoided or hide from and that we all experience failure at some point. However, now I know it is also important to pause.
When we acknowledge the heartache and disappointment that follows failure or when we fall short of something we so desperately want to achieve, we allow ourselves to heal, let go and move on. We don't have to be scared of using the f*** word. If you have set your heart on something and fallen short that is exactly what it feels like. It does not need to change, shape or mould your identity. It doesn't make you a failure, but it important you let yourself own and express how you feel about it. Learning and reflection can come but in the moments and days that immediately follow it is important you allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge any pain, disappointment and heartache.
You don't have to bounce back straight away. It is important that you afford this time to yourself. When we disguise how we really feel about it or put on a brave front we limit our learning, growth and momentum that will follow. When we give ourselves this time we are able to fully learn and grow through our failure. When we process it in this way failure is actually good for our growth and future performance.
Although it is painful it is OK to fail. It can be one of the most helpful things to us in achieving performance growth. So if you have experienced failure don't be afraid to use the f*** word. Own it, learn from it and then let go of it. If you haven't owned and held the failure then you can't let go of it. When you let go of it you can leave it behind, move on and up. When you do this you don't need to fear failure anymore, as you know you can not just survive it but thrive from it.